Separated At Birth: Paula Deen Feels ‘Like That Black Football Player Who Just Came Out’

Paula Deen feels like that gay black football player who just came out. Separated at birth? Photo of Paula Deen and Michael Sam.

Paula Deen’s racist ramblings forced the Food Network to cancel her popular Southern cooking show. Now, she’s back and saying stupid sh*t about black people again. Image by Elisabeth Parker for AI.

Last summer, Paula Deen’s racist ramblings about plantation weddings and cute li’l tap-dancing n*ggers made big headlines and forced the Food Network to cancel her popular southern cooking show. Now — a scant eight months later — the diabetic doyenne of deep fry is planning a comeback. Alas, her big interview with People Magazine proves she hasn’t logged in enough hours with her sensitivity trainer.  Instead of apologizing up and down (since her previous attempts didn’t sound convincing), Paula Deen lamented her perceived sufferings. She then compared herself to Michael Sam, the gay, black football player who made headlines when he came out as gay.

“I feel like ’embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s like that black football player who recently came out… He [Michael Sam] said, ‘I just want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a gay football player.’ I know exactly what he’s saying.”

Paula Deen also told People Magazine that she’s “fighting to get her name back.” Obviously, the poor woman has foot-in-mouth disease.

Sorry, Paula Deen, you’re no Michael Sam.

What is it with these racists? They say stupid, racist [email protected] Then, when you call them on it, they whine about how they’re the victims and how you’re discriminating against them for saying stupid, racist [email protected] Alas, this is the downside of the “southern culture” Paula Deen celebrates in her show. If Paula Deen finds herself “embattled” and “disgraced,” that’s because she got caught saying this:

“Well what I would really like is a bunch of little n*ggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around,” the lawsuit claims Deen said. “Now that would be a true southern wedding, wouldn’t it? But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.” [Source]

If Michael Sam, the University of Missouri’s defensive lineman, is, in fact, “embattled” and “disgraced,” it’s only among anti-gay troglodytes like Rush Limbaugh (who claimed heterosexuals are “under assault” — he can only wish). What he said when he told ESPN he’s gay gave courage to athletes still in the closet, and threw down the gauntlet to those who cling to old stereotypes about gays. Anyone dumb enough to call this 6’2″, 260 lb Defensive Player of the Year “effeminate” is cruising for a bruising.

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“I didn’t realize how many people actually knew, and I was afraid that someone would tell or leak something out about me. I want to own my truth. … No one else should tell my story but me.”

Unlike Paula Deen’s act of casual racist speech, Michael Sam’s announcement was an act of courage that puts his future career with the NFL on the line. Although his teammates and others in the NFL have been supportive and attitudes towards gays have changed for the better in recent years, football is not exactly the most enlightened of sports. Michael Sam told ESPN:

“I understand how big this is. It’s a big deal. No one has done this before. And it’s kind of a nervous process, but I know what I want to be … I want to be a football player in the NFL.”

A quick comparison between Paula Deen and Michael Sam.

Michael Sam
Paula Deen

Football player
Chef

Gay
Straight

Black
White

Hot
Not

Young
Not young

Future NFL
Ex-Food Network

On the right side of history
On the wrong side of history.

We have not heard the last of Paula Deen.

Unfortunately, we have not heard the last of Paula Deen. Like George Zimmerman and bad pennies, she keeps turning up. There’s a sucker born every minute, and one of them has just given her a large investment (in the neighborhood of $75-$100 million) to launch a new company. Luckily, Deen’s target “Cracker” demographic has plenty of demand for her signature type two diabetes-inducing Southern cooking. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with Paula Deen’s artery-clogging southern cuisine, here’s her infamous recipe for English Peas from the Food Network.

Ingredients
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained
Directions
Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.

More from AI on Paula Deen.