Craigslist Casual Encounters Ads Explode During CPAC (NSFW)

Author: March 8, 2014 4:06 pm

When CPAC rolls into town, Craigslist “casual encounters” ads see a rise in volume. From nerf guns to short skirts to gippers going down on jelly beans…
Image from flickr.com

Ask anyone who lives in the D.C. area about Craigslist when CPAC is in town. They will tell you that the casual encounters ads are rife with attendees looking for some weekend love.

Craigslist personals; where the lonely look for love

While some of the ads may be jokes, others are certainly real. Blogger Tony Bravo writes that CPAC is…

“… one of the biggest gay hook-up destinations this side of the White Party? Given CPAC’s lack of enthusiasm for including gay conservative groups in the conference, this might come as a surprise to some of you. Then again, it might not. Admittedly it’s a very specific type of gay hook-up destination for most DL (“down low”) types…”

So, without any further ado, here is a selection of Craigslist ads from the D.C. area (not edited for mistakes). These are NSFW! If you really want to, click the links.

CPAC looking for discrete fun – m4m – 26 (Prince George’s County)

Staying in town for the conference. Looking to get my rocks off. discretion assured. Versatile looking for a masc man in his 20s or 30s.

CPAC – I need a MAN. NOW! – m4m – 36 (CPAC convention)

Okay.
So. I spend so much time in rural Indiana, CPAC is my only outlet for this sort of thing.
What I’m looking for, you, a masculine Ayn Rand, me, the 47%. And I want you to slap me around hard and give it to me good.
Or. . .you could bust in my room, catch me trying to enroll in a healthcare market place/state exchange, and the punish me for it. Punish me good.
We can meet at the bar first, if you want. I will be wearing khakis and a navy blue blazer. (possibly a joke but fun anyway)

Big Dad seeks Trim College Bottom CPAC – m4m – 44 (Alexandria Old Town)

Me: masculine, 6ft, 235, curly short blonde, hzl eyes, German Irish, 7.5 thick cut 6 around.
You: trim 18-29, no older, no experience needed.
Must send pic, yours gets mine. Love cum. Hottub.
I can host, have parking, near King and Braddock metros.

@CPAC looking for my Allen West – m4m (CPAC)

Patriots!
What an incredible day today was! Christie and Jindal and some great sessions. I am ready to unwind and have some fun. I am looking to make one of my biggest fantasies come true.
Me: Police Uniform
You: Army Uniform
I want you to bring a couple other guys for this fantasy too!
We begin by you storming into my room with the other guys. The other guys will proceed to beat me (paddles, whips, floggers is up to them! or be creative ;-)
After I have been beaten, I want you to threaten my life and tell me that I am going to die for what I did. I got a nerf gun for this fantasy and I want you to blindfold me and place a garbage can next to me.
Here is the most important part…
Shoot the nerf gun at the garbage can and NOT me. I want to feel like you are going to shoot me but at the last moment you do not.
It may seem like a crazy fantasy but we all have our kinks
Afterwards we can hj, bj and a2m
Photos of the type of man I am looking for and of the nerf gun

CPAC 24 m4m NSA – m4m (CPAC)

It is that time again and I want to have some NSA fun after the speeches
I want to fuck your mouth while I sign you up on the health care market place.
I want you to be the gipper and go down on my jelly beans.
I want to be discrete

Not all of the Craigslist casual encounters ads are men looking for men. My favorite Craigslist ad comes from a liberal who is working at CPAC, probably covering the circus for media.

Liberal marooned at CPAC – w4m – 35 (Gaylord)

I am as far from the CPAC mindset as you can get but have been dispatched there for work, though thankfully will escape National Harbor to get back to DC at night. If you’re at CPAC but not of CPAC and might want to huddle together over some coffee in between breakout panels, say hello. It might just be a fun chat in a free moment, or it could lead to drinks at the Generation Opportunity party… I’m a short, sarcastic liberal girl with red hair and a sense of adventure. Send me something about you and a picture if you’re feeling daring and if you catch my eye I’ll respond.
(Sorry, conservatives, but I just don’t find you attractive. Feel free to email me your thoughts about how my kind is ruining the country and suggestions about how I could get fixed through sex with a republican! I’m sure it will be entertaining.)

It’s fun to see that hypocrisy, isn’t it?

The thing a about these Craigslist ads — and the reason they are so entertaining — is because the CPAC folks are the ones who frown on everything we see in those ads. Well, except for that liberal chick. These are the people who call women sluts for wanting to practice birth control. These are the people who denounce gays for their “sinful lifestyle.” These are the folks who are so far into the closet that they found their 1980s dinner jacket. And it was fabulous!`

Here’s the thing, CPAC conservatives: we don’t care if you hook up through Craigslist. We really don’t. We liberals want everyone to be happy. But when you spend the rest of the year trying to take away other people’s rights, then look to hook up on the DL for one weekend of the year, you will be called out. Because, while we want everyone to be happy, we want it for every day of the year. And we want it for everyone, not just deeply closeted hypocrites.

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9 Comments

  • Seems to me that this is a field overly ripe for opportunity for an investigative reporter with the (lack) of ethics that Fox News “Journalists” have.

  • As much as I believe the GOP is full of ass clowns, the examples in this article of their ass clownishness had too be written by liberals that have a dry sense of humor, the fantasies are too spot on for a teabagger. Would be interesting to see how much of a bump the strip joints had though, Tampa strip joints experienced quite a surge during the Republican National Convention in 2012.

  • GodlessLiberalAtheist

    If it wasn’t for the fact that they have innocent families at home I’d wish that each and everyone of these effing hypocrites got themselves infected with HIV as a result. Family values – right.

  • LubbockGayMale

    As a gay male, might I be the first to say WTF do those closet queens think they’re getting away with? And what self-respecting homo would be interested? You realize they’re gonna be hooking up with each other, right? or some $400/night male hooker… oh, some good might come of this, if a hooker gets paid!

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