Police: Palin Family Involved In 20-Person Brawl At Party


(image via Wikimedia)

The Palin clan, including Mama Palin herself, was allegedly involved in a huge verbal and physical fight over the weekend when they got drunk at a friend’s party. Punches were thrown, lips were bloodied, and Sarah Palin reportedly scream, “Do you know who I am?” at people telling her to calm down.

According to Alaskan political blog, The Immoral Minority, the Palins were at a party when – allegedly fueled by alcohol – Track Palin (that would be Sarah and Todd’s oldest son) confronted a man who had formerly dated one of his sisters. Words are exchanged, then Bristol (that would be Sarah and Todd’s oldest daughter) started punching people. Eventually the entire family is yelling and fighting. One source claims Todd was calling people the C-word and acting belligerent. Somewhere a reality tv executive is crying at the lost potential.

Blogger Amanda Coyne did some investigating and found multiple sources that paint roughly the same picture The Immoral Authority first heard about.

Spoiler alert: It’s incredible:

The night before, Saturday, was a doozy. The details are a little sketchy, but there’s enough of them, from enough different sources, that a story emerges, a story that according to the gossip Gods, looks kind of like this: There’s some sort of Iron Dog/snowmachine party in Anchorage. A nice, mellow party, until the Palin’s show up. There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more.

The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!”

No, it’s what happens when the former First Family of Alaska comes knocking. As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.

Track seems nice.

The Palins have yet to comment on the incident, but the Anchorage Police Department seem to have confirmed most of the details when Wonkette called them up.

Anita in the Anchorage Police Department’s communications office is sitting at her desk at 7:15 a.m. on a Tuesday, so probs they are waiting for a whole mess of calls from Jake Tapper or whatever, and Anita confirms that a huge bloody mess of a brawl between multiple subjects took place Saturday night, and that the Palins were “present.” However, since nobody wanted to arrest anybody else, the names of the “subjects” remain not yet released.

It’s amazing that Sarah Palin had the time to get into a trashy brawl when she’s been so busy recently filming things for her subscription-based Palin-centric online news network. In between those, the one-time serious Republican presidential contender (never forget), has been cross-promoting her work with that of Duck Dynasty’s – another family who are celebrated for their ignorance. Recently, she sat alongside Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson to tell people about Jesus.

The only thing left in this story is for a video to emerge of the incident. Given the amount of people present at the party, it seems likely that someone caught the brawl on tape. We’ll add that in as soon as it becomes available. In the meantime, shake your head and marvel that this was almost the Vice President of the United States.