Texas Ammosexuals Re-Enact Charlie Hebdo Shooting With ‘Armed Civilian’ — Everyone Still Dies (VIDEO)

Occasionally, stupid people whose love of weapons transcends their sense enjoy attempting to justify a belief that the world would be virtually immune to crime if only we furnished every man, woman, and child with a firearm.

“An armed society is a polite society,” hordes of ammosexuals loudly proclaim, ignoring that drivers who carry guns are 44% more likely to make obscene gestures at other motorists and a frightening 77 percent to follow aggressively than unarmed individuals.

Not a single mass shooting has been stopped by an armed civilian in 30 years, but right-wing blasturbation club The Truth About Guns decided to play “Charlie Hebdo” on Tuesday in an effort to show that an “armed civilian” would have stopped two heavily-armed terrorists and saved lives.

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The experiment was a massive flop. The group did, indeed, gather the requested number of volunteers. Unfortunately for them, that was the most successful part of the adventure.

“He started shooting,” said volunteer Linda Cruz, “and I started shooting, and I died.”

Volunteers gathered on a set that was made to look like the offices of the satirical French magazine that became the target of a terrorist attack after it reprinted cartoons that depicted the Prophet Mohammed. Armed with a paintball gun, the volunteers took turns playing the role of a heroic “good guy with a gun” in the office.

Also armed with paintball guns were two “terrorists” who appeared to execute the infidels in the scenario. The “gunmen” were professionals from tactical training company “Patriot Protection.”

Over and over, the armed civilian was “killed,” along with those “gun rights” advocates claim he or she would have protected. In only two cases was the “good guy” able to remove even one of the gunmen from the scenario.

Only once did the “armed civilian survive” — when she ran away at the first sound of “gunfire.”

“Still got killed but did better than I thought I would,” said volunteer Parks Matthew. He says that watching everyone around him “die” has shown that he should not protect his children if he encounters a shooter in a movie theater — Matthew will ensure that they emerge from the situation fatherless, instead:

If I’m in a movie theater and someone pulls a gun, what am I going to do? I know now I’m not gonna just fall on my kids and protect them, I need to advance on the threat.

Of the twelve simulations, not a single one involved the volunteers finding themselves able to kill both shooters.

Strangely, The Truth About Guns has not provided followers with an update.

Watch a news report on the exercise, below:

Featured image via CBS DFW