Listen Up, Kids… Or DIE: Holy Video Tries Way Too Hard To Control Children In Church (VIDEO)

Kids don’t spring from the womb believing in God. It’s something they must be taught. Fortunately, parents have the Bible (and other similarly old books) to help them through the process.

The Watchtower’s child propaganda, I mean learning, series of videos helps Jehovah’s Witness parents get the job done. A newly-released video, titled “Pay Attention at the Meetings,” addresses the very important issue of kids screwing around during kingdom hall meetings.

Since a child’s immortal soul is at stake, the lesson pulls no punches. It uses good, old-fashioned, fear and intimidation to get its message across.

In the video, two cute little kids, Caleb and Sophia, are struggling to pay attention during a kingdom hall meeting. Rather than listening, young Caleb plays with his toy car and his sister takes a snooze.

When the family returns home, the Father asks his children:

“Imagine if Noah didn’t pay attention when Jehovah explained how to build the ark?” queries the father.

The video then transitions to Noah and his family goofing off rather than listening to God. Sadly, because they failed to listen, Noah and his family are unable to build the ark and they all die a horrible death by drowning.

At this point the video returns to Caleb’s family:

“That’s not what happened, dad!” exclaims Caleb. “You are right,” his dad says. “He paid attention, and it saved his life. Paying attention at the meetings can help save YOUR life!”

So the moral of the story is… pay attention or die.

Here’s the video,

Be good or “God will kill you and all you love in a flood” isn’t the only persuasive message found in the Bible. It’s chock-full of other helpful lessons to keep your kids on track. has compiled some really convincing Bible verses that will help strike the fear of God into your little sinners. Here’s a good sampling:

Hey kids, don’t hit your parents:

“Whoever strikes his father or mother shall be put to death.” (Exodus 21:15 NAB)

Bite your tongue. Don’t speak ill of your parents:

“All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense.” (Leviticus 20:9 NLT)

Don’t be an unruly little brat, especially when the prophet Elisha is around:

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. ‘Go up baldhead,’ they shouted, ‘Go up baldhead!’ The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces.” (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)

Keep an eye on Dad. If he’s a sinner, your days may be numbered:

“Make ready to slaughter his sons for the guilt of their fathers; Lest they rise and posses the earth, and fill the breadth of the world with tyrants.” (Isaiah 14:21 NAB)

That’s right. Watch your parents. Seriously! Make sure they listen to God, too:

“If even then you remain hostile toward me and refuse to obey, I will inflict you with seven more disasters for your sins. I will release wild animals that will kill your children and destroy your cattle, so your numbers will dwindle and your roads will be deserted.” (Leviticus 26:21-22 NLT)

Kids, are you sure He will show mercy just because you’re a cute little tyke? Don’t get cocky, kid:

“Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children.” (Isaiah 13:15-18 NLT)