Conservative “Christians” brought this on themselves. That’s what happens when you don’t actually read the Bible you hide behind.
Still not satisfied that conservatives have been mocked enough over the anti-gay religious freedom laws they have been pushing in Indiana, Arkansas, and elsewhere across the country, Twitter users began a campaign called #ThingsJesusNeverSaid.
For years, conservatives have used the Bible to excuse their heartless and hateful agenda, even though most, if not all, of their positions contradict what the religious text actually says. So Twitter decided to remind conservatives of things that Jesus never said. Covering topics from atheism to gay rights to Catholic Cardinals to Chik-fil-a to Israel to healthcare and more, these tweets are hilarious and shows who really reads the Bible.
Here are some of the best ones so far:
— Peter Lombard (@tutticontenti) April 3, 2015
“My followers are just better and more honest than atheists.” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Jayson D. Bradley (@jaysondbradley) April 3, 2015
Love only those who are easy to get along with #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Jared Tucker (@Tuckered_Out93) April 3, 2015
Support those who build apartheid walls in the Holy Land #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— 5ara L. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (@undeuxtroiscat) April 3, 2015
“And on the seventh day, Chick-fil-a will be closed” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Katie Adams (@KT_Adams) April 3, 2015
Love your neighbour, except if they are homosexual/gay/lesbian/tattooed/pierced/mixedrace/atheist/differentingeneral k #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Sarah Jane O’Hare (@SarahJane_OHare) April 3, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Anything in English
— Paul Lander (@paul_lander) April 2, 2015
I hate homosexuals #ThingsJesusNEVERSaid
— Bible on Fire (@biblicalflames) April 2, 2015
— Bethan says FreeRaif (@Woodlandbookshp) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid “Love everyone. Except gay people. Oh and the colored too. And the poor. But everyone else is fine”
— Jack Bandit (@intrepid_heroin) April 2, 2015
“I’m white” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Blair Waldorf. (@KammySanM) April 2, 2015
— The Baxter Bean (@TheBaxterBean) April 2, 2015
If someone doesn’t live by my teachings, feel free to force them legally. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— 5’7 Black Male (@absurdistwords) April 2, 2015
— Kenny Torrella (@kennytorrella) April 2, 2015
— Pat Bagley (@Patbagley) April 2, 2015
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 2, 2015
— Scott Wooledge (@Clarknt67) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid tell people how to live their lives and look down upon them if they dont listen to you
— Kap (@Mudkap) April 2, 2015
— Andrew O’Day (@ODayAndrew) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid “I’d like my life to inspire a massive pompous money-grubbing global corporation that harbours child abusers”
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) April 2, 2015
— Ania (@Magdalena0113) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid giving out loafs and fishes is just encouraging dependency. We can’t live in a something for nothing culture.
— Unnamed Insider (@Unnamedinsider) April 2, 2015
And these are only the tip of the iceberg. There are plenty more to peruse if you want to keep laughing at crazy conservative “Christians” and what they believe. And just in time for Easter, too.