Sorry, ladies, “I’m not in the mood” isn’t good enough if you’re in a good, “Christian” marriage and you don’t feel like having sex. No matter how your husband treats you, no matter what issues you are having, if he needs to insert his penis in something — you’re it, whether you want to or not…At least, according to this handy guide on Biblical Gender Roles.
According to 8 Steps to Confront Your Wife’s Sexual Refusal, a wife has no cause to refuse her husband sex without a “valid reason.” What can a “Christian husband” do to combat the “immoral” action of a wife denying him some of that sweet, sweet Jesus-hole? Well, this totally-not-misogynist publication has all the answers — though the author is clear that he is not addressing the problem of a wife occasionally saying “no.” He is addressing a situation where:
…she thinks she should not have to do it except when she is in the mood or she thinks her husband should have to earn sex with her by “putting her in the mood” by doing various things she expects or likes.
Simply put, Biblically, “A wife cannot flatly refuse her husband, she may only ask for a delay (a raincheck) and then she needs to make good on that raincheck as soon as possible.”
If a good, Christian wife refuses her husband sex for too long, “A husband has the right to confront his wife’s sexual refusal as a sin not only against him, but also against God.”
As a woman, a wife does not have to be interested in, or even willing to have sex, according to this disturbing revelation of the “Christian” psyche. “A husband ought not to feel guilty for having sex with his wife when she is not in the mood if she yields, even grudgingly,” the author helpfully notes.
The only reason a wife should turn down sex is “for legitimate physical or mental health reasons.” Otherwise, “the problem is wrong thinking and wrong attitude on the part of his wife.” If her reasons for turning down sex are “legitimate,” then “she needs to seek medical or psychological help as soon as possible,” according to Biblical Gender Roles.
The only exception to physical or mental health reasons, of course, is “unless it is mutually agreed by both of you for a short period of time.” In other words, unless the husband is willing to “go without,” the wife is stuck serving as his personal sex toy.
Fortunately, for Christian husbands who find themselves deprived (probably because they think like the author), there is a solution: “Tough love.”
As it is “sexually immoral for a wife” to deprive their dear, sweet, Godly husbands “sexually unless they have a legitimate physical or mental health grounds for doing so,” is is clearly a sin — one that must be addressed:
“I am here to tell you there is something more you can and should do. You need to call out your wife’s sin for exactly what it is – sexual immorality.”
“Your desire for your wife is not the sin, but instead it is your wife’s sinful sexual refusal that must be confronted,” the author notes, before offering eight ways to force one’s wife into what amounts to theological rape.
The first step is to berate her in private. If your wife doesn’t respond positively to your insane accusations that she is somehow sinning by denying you access to her lady parts, then move on to step two, where you “rebuke her before witnesses” like a marriage counselor or a sex therapist.
If, by this point, she isn’t turned on by your constant whining that she owes you sex, things can get tricky — but, onward, good Christian soldier to step three: “Bring her before the church.”
If anything is going to make your wife want to have sex with you, it’s certainly dragging her in front of your pastor and complaining to him that she won’t let you force her to give up that sweet, sweet poonanny. “If she will not listen even to them then she has chosen to act like an unbeliever,” the author writes, “and now she will be treated as such.”
“If your wife has not repented and changed her ways after these three steps, you are sure to have a very angry and defiant wife,” the guide notes. “At this point your wife will have either completely rejected her faith, or she will have at least completely rejected your church and their views of sexual denial in marriage.”
But, never fear, men: It’s not your responsibility to keep your wife happy:
“But I want you to understand something, it is not your responsibility to keep your wife in the marriage by any means necessary, and certainly not by giving in to her willful, rebellious and sinful behavior.”
If she refuses to allow repeat bouts of humiliation to affect her complete lack of desire to have sex with you, then the punishment begins. If complaining that she won’t f*ck you doesn’t do the trick, then you should stop doing anything and everything that would make her want to:
“Stop taking your wife to her favorite restaurants. Stop taking her out to those movies she wants to see. Don’t take her on those weekend getaways she wants to go on. I am not saying to stop talking to your wife, or ignore your wife, as that is not an option for a Christian husband. But your wife does not have the RIGHT for you to take her on dates or trips – these things are a privilege that you may remove at any time.”
If refusing to do nice things for your wife doesn’t work, then it’s time to stop upkeep on the house, unless it’s an emergency. “What you need to do as a husband is, unless it is a true family need, and not just an upgrade to something – Do not allow it,” the author notes.
After that, it’s time to stop doing any housework altogether, cooking dinner, or “those things that really she should be doing for herself, but you have simply been trying to be nice and doing for her.” No massages, either — period!
Step 7 is a bit tricky. If your wife has her own source of income, there is no way this will work, the author notes, but you should “remove her funding”:
“Change your bank account so her ATM card becomes worthless. Cancel your credit cards. If she does have a job, stop paying for anything in her name and make her pay for any credit that is in her name. The Bible only requires that you provide her with food, clothing and shelter. It does not say that food and clothing has to be the fancy kind she likes to get.”
If none of these completely reasonable and Godly steps work then you, as a Christian husband, have one option left:
“You have the option to divorce her for her sexual immorality.”
There you have it, folks. If your wife refuses to have sex with you, the proper response is to whine about it endlessly to anyone who will listen then “discipline” her for her “sinful” act of not providing you with sex-on-demand.
If you’re relying on this guide, then you probably will never understand that the issue is not your wife — it’s you.
Featured Image via Crosswalk