Get Out Your Tinfoil Hats – Walmarts Are Now ‘Urban Tactical Centers’ For Jade Helm (VIDEO)

President Obama has taken his invasion of Texas to a new level, converting Walmarts to “urban tactical centers.” No, really. There’s video proof and everything.

While the President continues his actual invasion of Texas with temporary housing, food, clean water and cash for flood victims, right-wing extremists just can’t seem to get past the Jade Helm conspiracy theory that a military exercise that covers thousands of square miles and will have little to no interaction with the public is the beginning of his move towards martial law and the rise as our permanent dictator.

This latest theory is by far the most ridiculous yet; or is it…

Walmart can provide Obama troops with much-needed supplies. The sporting goods department boasts the cheapest possible guns money can buy in case military issue fully automatic weapons fail. There’s also a wide variety of camping equipment any soldier would dream of having, including tents, Coleman stoves and rain ponchos.

Clearly the President wants to ensure the finest Chinese-made garbage is available to his henchmen, just in case the billions we spend outfitting them can’t cut it.

Does “Faded Glory” make camo gear?

It’s so utterly ridiculous. This incredible act of treason by the President was first reported by Mad Patriots, a website with as much credibility as Fox News. Promoted by the Facebook page “The Revolution,” the Walmart revelation gives people who stock bunkers with ammo and canned peaches full-time yet another reason to be concerned for their ridiculous way of life.

The video itself is hilarious. There’s a huge difference between an educated southerner speaking with an endearing accent in an articulate manner and a redneck Teabilly’s paranoid ramblings; this video contains the latter.

Complete with ominous music, a couple drives around to the back of a Walmart, pointing out some very disturbing things. There are storage containers. STORAGE CONTAINERS! What in the world would a store that carries millions of items possibly need storage containers for? They couldn’t possibly be for overstock or outdated merchandise; they must be armories, in plain sight and protected by bulletproof Masterlocks, for Jade Helm operatives.

Even more disturbing is the large round block structure behind the store. The Teahadist says it looks like a “water tower of some sort.” A water tower? Behind a Walmart? We’re so friggin doomed.

In what has to be the best laugh you’ll get all day the wingnut and his female counterpart pull around to the garden section, where a statue of a soldier is on display. Did you hear that? Are you paying attention? They have a statue of a soldier, carrying a weapon, right there in plain sight.

Why? Is it a symbol to let operatives know that this store has been converted to a tactical center? Is it meant to intimidate the public?

By the big white and purple price tag my first thought was that it’s for sale. Naive people like me will be the first to die.

As the couple points out, a statue of a fireman is gone. The woman gasps in disbelief. “Oh my God the fireman is gone,” she says as the video comes to an end. Clearly Obama has had this symbol of American pride removed in favor of the soldier.

Or maybe they sold it.

The entire nation has had quite a blast pointing at Texas and laughing over the Jade Helm stupidity. Conservatives may be worthless to our country, but at least they provide us with a good chuckle from time to time.

Watch President Obama convert Walmarts to ‘urban tactical centers’ for Jade Helm.

Featured image via screen capture from YouTube