S*men Will Cancerize Your Girlie Parts, And Other [email protected]#$ed-Up Duggar Sex Wisdom (IMAGES)

The fine folks at Gawker went through the arduous task of digging through the Duggars’ homeschool curriculum, and you would not believe the f*cked up things that these people are learning about sex.

Recently, it was revealed that Josh Duggar molested five children over a two-year period — one of whom was no older than five-years-old, and four of whom were his sisters. Duggar, a popular figure with the hateful GOP, has been bringing in a lot of support from the pro-child molestation crowd since his admission that he abuses children.

Some of Duggar’s supporters say that he was just “playing doctor,” while others claim that quite literally anyone would molest a child if they could get away with it. Other supporters who accept the Duggar ideology claim that Josh Duggar is a victim of the “new racism” — completely legitimate allegations that he molested children.

But what sort of mentality would allow a family to believe it is acceptable to cover up numerous child molestations, telling only a police officer who is currently serving 56 years in prison for possessing child pornography — and understating what crimes were committed, at that?

The Duggars get most of their stupid ideas from the Advanced Training Institute, which was founded by Bill Gothard, a man who ultimately resigned in shame after it was discovered he was sexually grooming teens and young women (and who received hefty support from Hobby Lobby’s Green family).

A counseling program under the umbrella of Gothard’s insanely creepy cult taught Duggar that his victims’ immodesty was to blame for his horrific sexual imposition on them — and that all he needs to do is tell his imaginary friend in the sky that he’s sorry, and everything is fixed… no matter what damage he did to the children.

The Duggars also make use of a homeschooling curriculum straight from the Gothard cult’s Advanced Training Institute — one that poses some wonderful questions, like, “How did the ‘Socratic method’ of reasoning come from a sodomite manner of living?” and  “How do prime numbers illustrate the principle of ‘one flesh’ in marriage?”

via Gawker

via Gawker

Gawker did some digging into Gothard’s homeschool curriculum and it’s probably one of the most insane things you will read all week. For instance, ladies: did you know that evil alien semen is invading your girlie bits and causing cancer? The only way to stop these evil, alien sperm is to find yourself a husband:

Doctors have discovered that the seed of the man is an alien substance to the woman. It triggered responses similar to those of an “allergic” reaction. A woman who has a husband is able to develop “immunity” to this reaction; however, a promiscuous woman’s immune system becomes confused and unable to distinguish alien substances. This confusion is a key to the development of cancer.

Now, about gangrene and lust…

via Gawker

via Gawker

“Diseases of the body usually have their counterpart in diseases of the soul. There is, in fact, an intimate relationship between the health of the soul and the health of the body,” the materials explain. “By understanding the workings of a disease in one realm we can often gain significant insight to a corresponding disease in the other realm.”

Also, men can’t control themselves around women (or children, in Josh’s case) — which explains why some Christians feel that a wife refusing to give her husband sex-on-demand without a “valid” reason is “sexually immoral” (or why a five-year-old won’t put out when Josh Duggar gives her candy):

When a man looks lustfully at a woman, a flood of impulses travels through the optic nerve to the back of the brain. As a result, the glands and other bodily functions are activated, and the level of testosterone increases.

Recent studies revealed a significant correlation between high testosterone levels and those who commit violent crimes.

Josh Duggar irreparably damaged five children with his lust, but did you know that he has hurt all of his children (whether he has touched them or not) with said man-feelings?:

In the same way as genetic diseases are passed from parents to children, the specific sins of the fathers are passed on in the form of weaknesses to their sons and daughters. Thus, a father who lusts with his eyes will cause his children to have greater temptation in this area until he confesses his past sins and prays a daily hedge around his children.

As for physical afflictions — Ladies (again), were you aware that surgeons spend a ridiculous amount of time fixing problems that can be traced to your sin and guilt? The Duggars do:

via Gawker

via Gawker

In fact, miscarriages have less to do with actual physical problems, and more to do with a magic ‘bortion potion in the Bible:

The miscarriage or premature birth of a child conceived in unfaithfulness can also be attributed to the stress of the cup of bitter water. This interpretation assumes that the accused WOMAN is pregnant when she is brought before the priest. If the child is the husband’s , she has no reason for guilt, and the child will live.

Don’t worry, though, if you follow this demented version of “God’s Law,” you’re totally safe — well, the husband, wife, and four children are. The rest are on their own, according to this diagram:

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via Gawker

Josh Duggar’s dad once campaigned on a platform that would call for rapists and dirty, incestuous scum (like Josh) to be executed, but when it came down to revelations that his son molested four of his siblings who should be under that umbrella of protection, he made sure to shove his other children out into the Satan-and-alien-semen rain outside that little umbrella… because there was only room for Jim Bob, Michelle, and Josh under there.

Perhaps it’s time to talk about gelding.


Featured image via Gawker