The 2016 election is right around the corner and the GOP field is quickly filling up with presidential hopefuls. As a woman, one of the most important campaign issues for me is women’s rights. So that got me wondering: What would America look like for women if one of the top ten Republican candidates somehow made it to the White House while the House of Representatives and the Senate are controlled by the GOP?

The answer: awful.

Where do the candidates stand on reproductive rights?

10. Marco Rubio:

We had such high hopes for Marco in the beginning; he seemed the most sane of his colleagues when he hit the political stage. Rubio believes that life begins at conception and should be protected. So that means he’s all for abortion roadblocks even though he says a woman’s right to an abortion is the law.

Although he pretends to be “pro-life,” he believes that women should be denied birth control if their employers are uncomfortable with it. What a winner, eh?!

Unfortunately, he also believes that his penis means that he should be paid more than us.

9. Carly Fiorina:

If you thought Fiorina would care about women any more than her male colleagues, you better think again. She is “pro-life” and claims that it doesn’t matter, because women don’t really care about abortion rights. I’m not really sure which women she is talking about, but I can say with the utmost certainty that we very much care about our right to control our own bodies. She, too, believes that a business should be allowed to deny a woman birth control because of Jesus.

While Fiorina doesn’t support the right of women to have control over their own bodies, she does think we deserve equal pay. Unfortunately, her denial of the GOP’s “War on Women” means that she is no friend of ours.

8. Rand Paul:

Paul often attempts to come off as the more sane Republican candidate. He claims that he is a Libertarian-leaning Republican, but his views on women’s issues prove otherwise. Paul believes that life begins at conception and should be protected by law from that day forth. He has also said that the “coarsening of our culture towards violent death” has led to the deaths of 50 million babies over 40 years and he introduced a constitutional amendment to overturn Roe v. Wade.

As for birth control, Paul claims that he’s not against it, but he introduced a personhood bill that would make it illegal. He also agreed with the Hobby Lobby ruling, you know? The ruling that allowed businesses to deny a woman contraceptives. So, in reality, Paul doesn’t believe in personal liberties at all.

Finally, Rand Paul also voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act because he claimed that the moment we set up a “fairness czar” we will be giving up our “freedoms.”

Da’fuq?

7. Jeb Bush:

Bush is definitely not a friend of women, even though he tries to come off as less extreme than some of his other running mates. When Bush was Governor of Florida, he signed the bill that introduced the right-wing’s obnoxious “Choose Life” license plates. As a Floridian, I am constantly behind people who drive recklessly while proudly declaring that they are pro-fetus thanks to the ex-governor. Not only are the license plates stupid, but the proceeds from the plate sales go into a fund that pays for counseling and support for women giving up children for adoption while excluding counseling for women who seek abortions.

In addition to the license plates, Bush pushed for money to fund anti-abortion billboards on Florida highways. He also objects to stem cell research. As if that isn’t horrible enough, Bush also ordered that Terri Schiavo’s (the woman who was in a persistent vegetative state) feeding tube be reinserted after it was removed.

All of this is supposed to prove that Jebya is “pro-life,” but he’s not. How do we know? Because last month he attacked the Obama Administration’s birth control mandate. If he was truly committed to ending abortions, then he would support the mandate which reduces unwanted pregnancies.

Not only does he want to insert his giant GOP elephant in our wombs, he doesn’t give a shit about equal pay. When asked if he supports the Paycheck Fairness Act, last October, Bush had to have a reporter explain what it was. Yeah, he wants to be president, but doesn’t even know what a major piece of legislation is.

Oyyyyy!

6. Ben Carson:

On the surface, neurosurgeon Ben Carson seems like he’d have more common sense than the other GOP front-runners, after all, he is a brain surgeon. Unfortunately, he’s just as stupid. If Carson were to become president he would undoubtedly pressure the legislature to pass the asinine 20-week anti-abortion law he supports. He has also said over and over again that he doesn’t support “convenience abortions.” He’s one of those right-wing douchebags who thinks women just arbitrarily make the decision to have an abortion because they’re bored that day. Oh yeah, and he once compared abortion to slavery… seriously.

Well what about birth control? When speaking about the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby ruling, he called birth control symptomatic of an “entitlement society.” He hasn’t let us know if he thinks we should be paid the same as a man; but looking at his other views, I think it’s safe to assume he’d keep paying us 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.

How he managed to become a neurosurgeon, we will never know.

5. Lindsey Graham:

Graham isn’t quite as batshit as the next 4 Republicans on our list, but he is just as anti-woman. He is so “pro-life” that he was named South Carolina Citizens for Life 2006 Legislator of the Year. He is the original author of the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, which named an unborn child a victim if its mom miscarried because she was a victim of a violent crime. He also voted to outlaw minors from crossing state lines to obtain an abortion.

It’s not enough that he is anti-abortion, he’s also against contraceptives and voted no on a bill that would educate teens and prevent unwanted pregnancies. So, he claims to be against abortions, but doesn’t support anything that would reduce the need for them.

Like the rest of his anti-women Republicans, Graham doesn’t believe we deserve to be paid the same as men. He was one of the senators who voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act.

4. Mike Huckabee:

We really have no idea how Huckabee is even relevant after all of this time, but Republicans still think he is. Huckabee is super crazy when it comes to abortions. He believes that the legalization of abortion is worse than what the Nazis did to the Jews. He promised that if he is elected president, he will fight to end abortion and defund Planned Parenthood. As if that isn’t douchey enough, last month he told voters that giving women birth control means that we don’t believe women can control their “libido.” He said birth control should be denied to women because we need to be taught to be something other than “victims of our gender.” Oh yeah, he’s an idiot.

On fair pay? Yeah, he doesn’t think we deserve to be paid fairly and when he was governor of Arkansas he opposed it. Oh and by the way, my fellow women, Mike Huckabee believes that we should “submit graciously” to our husbands like Jesus wants us to.

3. Rick Santorum:

This dumb, woman-hating pig thinks that women should not be allowed an abortion in any case. He thinks that if we are raped, we should carry the fetus to term and “make the best out of a bad situation.” He actually said that nonsense. He claims that he is pro-life but he also wants to get rid of birth control pills. So, he’s pro-fetus, not pro-life.

As for our pay? Yeah, he thinks having a vagina means we aren’t worth as much as men and he fought against it.

2. Rick Perry:

Next to Ted Cruz (who we will get to in a minute) Perry is probably the most anti-woman candidate. When he was governor he signed the law that closed almost all of Texas’ abortion clinics. He also doesn’t believe a woman should be allowed to have late-term abortions and fully supports invasive, unnecessary transvaginal ultrasounds prior to abortions. On top of all of that, he doesn’t believe we have a right to privacy and also thinks abortion should only be legal in cases of incest, rape, or if the mother’s life is in danger.

Not only did he gut funding for reproductive health, he fully supports getting rid of the Affordable Healthcare Act’s birth control mandate.

When he was governor he vetoed an equal pay law and said equal pay is not a “substantive” issue and called the focus on equal pay “nonsense.”

Yeah, if you have a vagina, Rick Perry hates you.

That leads us to our number one woman-hating Republican presidential candidate…

1.Ted Cruz:

We all know that Cruz is basically batshit crazy and the chances of him winning the race to the White House are about as good as Jesus reappearing on earth to crown me Queen of the Underworld. That being said, if he were to somehow become our 45th president, he would completely destroy women’s rights. He is staunchly anti-abortion, so much so that he’s totally okay with forcing rape victims to have their rapist’s baby. He calls the anniversary of Roe v. Wade the “dark anniversary” and he hates contraceptives. He actually calls birth control pills “abortion pills.”

Fair pay? Yeah, that wouldn’t happen if Cruz was president. He voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act.

What would America look like with Republicans in control of the legislative and executive branches?

If the GOP gains that type of control, we can kiss our rights goodbye. The Republican Party literally hates women and wants to punish us in every conceivable way. They don’t believe we should have control over our own bodies. They don’t believe we should be paid fairly. If they could stop us from voting, they’d do that too. If it were up to the right-wing we would be in the kitchen cooking for our men, barefoot and pregnant.