This Week, Paranoid Right-Wingers Have Attacked ‘Jade Helm 15’ Training Sites TWICE

Conservatives are going absolutely insane about their paranoid belief that Barack “Barry” Hussein Soetoro Obama Hitler Bin Laden is using secret underground tunnels connecting Wal-Marts to attack the United States — and the fear-mongering of conservative media has finally escalated to violence. Officials have apprehended a yet-unnamed white man who fired shots near a Jade Helm 15 training site in Mississippi two days in a row.

On Tuesday, a crazy cracker driving a maroon pickup truck with the words “Broken Arrow,” a military phrase requesting help when being overrun by enemy forces, on the windshield, fired two shots at servicemen training at Camp Shelby. The suspect managed to evade capture until Wednesday, when he returned to the scene of the crime to strike again.

On Wednesday, a white man driving a pickup truck matching the description of that of Tuesday’s attacker fired more shots near the Joint Forces Training Center. “We’re making sure soldiers are aware of what’s going on so they can take the proper precautionary measures,” said Lt. Col. Christian Patterson.

“I am in close contact with the Commissioner of the Department of Public Safety, and all available personnel and assets will be utilized to locate the suspect and affect an arrest. The Soldiers at Camp Shelby and across the state can and should take appropriate steps to defend themselves as necessary,” Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant said in response to the second attack. “This is one of the reasons I recently signed an executive order directing certain National Guard personnel to be armed.”

Late Wednesday morning, the Mississippi Bureau of Investigation has confirmed that they have taken a person of interest — a white male — into custody for the attack:


Conservatives have become very paranoid about the training exercise, which they view as preparations for martial law and something, something Dark Side.

via Heavy

via Heavy

“It’s the same thing that happened in Nazi Germany. You get the people used to the troops on the street, the appearance of uniformed troops and the militarization of the police,” said Texas resident Bob Wells after a meeting regarding the harmless nationwide military training exercise. “They’re gathering intelligence. That’s what they’re doing. And they’re moving logistics in place for martial law. That’s my feeling. Now I could be wrong. I hope I am wrong. I hope I’m a ‘conspiracy theorist.’”

The right has put forth a number of insane theories regarding Jade Helm — including that Blue Bell ice cream trucks would be used as mobile morgues to house the bodies of “patriots,” that tunnels connecting Wal-Mart stores to allow China, or ISIS, or the US Army, or the Teletubbies, to easily mobilize and invade the United States. But it’s OK, because Russia is coming to save the American people from the United States Government.

Because of this unabashed fear mongering, this lone white man wasn’t the only one preparing to wage war on this imaginary attack on the American people. On Saturday, three men were arrested for manufacturing explosive devices and stockpiling weapons to fight against Jade Helm 15 forces.

The white-wing has been getting more and more violent in their attacks against Americans but, as with Dylann Roof who shot up a black church in an effort to start a new Civil War, or John Russell Houser, a Tea Party white supremacist who unleashed a rain of bullets in a movie theater, we’ll never hear it called terrorism. White people, after all, absolutely can not be terrorists.

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