Facing Shutdown, Congress Arm Wrestles Public Over Defunding Planned Parenthood

Let’s face it, people love it when the government shuts down, don’t they? They especially love it when it costs taxpayers billions of dollars, and the only thing that makes that sweeter is when it’s over trivial bullshit like the highly doctored Planned Parenthood videos that conservatives have been using to instigate a political coup for the 2016 election.

Shockingly, they’re failing, though, leaving the public holding its breath and stomping its feet, demanding the government find some other way to shut down, avoid doing its job and, once again, cost taxpayers billions of dollars, even as our infrastructure continues to crumble almost as fast as our public school systems.

Maybe the “War on Christmas” will get the job done, eh? Then we can all bask in cursing those S.O.B.’s out for not doing their jobs while we enjoy our holidays the best we can. Hey, without jobs of our own, we have to have something to do to pass the time. Otherwise we might become “responsible gun owners” and accidentally kill ourselves before the New Year, and then how will we be able to pay our taxes so they can get pissed away in the next government shutdown? Sometimes, you have to think ahead, long-term, right? Sure you do.

Luckily, Congress is working hard to appease our rampant desires for complete and utter dysfunction to the point of federal, state and even local paralysis. The public wants Congress to shut down so bad it’s insisting Planned Parenthood continue to be funded, doctored videos be damned, as far as a Monday CNN/ORC poll states. Seventy-one percent – nearly three-quarters of queried adults – say they want Congress to actually approve a spending bill, even if that means conservative D.C. funding Planned Parenthood. Whereas, only 22 percent are willing to give the government a pass and call for complete elimination of federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

This balance in public opinion means the backwoods, Bible-thumping hick government we currently have running the show is most assuredly approaching shutdown mode, despite the fact that it’s largely recognized that those Planned Parenthood videos stating fetuses were being sold like cattle are doctored, edited, false narratives pinned on the organization maliciously. Hey, the show must go on!

And we just love the show so much, don’t we? Worth every penny.

Perhaps what makes the show so entertaining is watching Republicans feign efforts to actually stop the government from shutting down. Congress has to get a funding bill passed by the first of October, but meanwhile is facing incredible pressure from gullible, knee-jerk conservatives to defund Planned Parenthood. It’s a scheme only Joseph Heller could have written. And just to keep folks on the edge of their seats, the number of Republicans claiming to just slightly more support keeping the government open as opposed to letting it close over defunding Planned Parenthood currently rests at 48 to 44 percent.

Of course, good drama often comes with a twist ending, so don’t be too surprised if the conservatives do what we all know they’ve been planning all along and shut down the government. Feel free to burn your next month’s pay in the nearest fire pit to get in the spirit.

It is also interesting to note that there isn’t much of a difference in opinion amongst conservatives as to whether it is more favorable to keep the government open or shut it down over the matter, whether they are a man or a woman. Men say they favor keeping the government open 70 percent to 21 percent, whereas women settle at 71 to 24 percent.

Of course, they’re against the government shutting down so long as Congress does as they say. Hell, many of these rubes are members of Congress, themselves, too.

Another ploy to keep the drama high and the public guessing what’s going to happen next has been a 20-week abortion ban milling about the Senate, as well as a “standalone defunding bill in the House” that hopes to offer a solution that will allow an alternative to shutting down the government.

Oh, what dubious architects conservatives can be – masters of illusion, drama and political theater, aren’t they? Perhaps that is why Ayn Rand made her hero in The Fountainhead an architect…

Enjoy the show.

Featured image via WikiMedia