Watch The NRA Accidentally Admit That We Don’t Need Guns For Self-Defense (VIDEO)

One of my favorite things in the world is when conservatives debunk their own nincompoopery. It makes my job really, really easy. Take, for example, the recent series of GOP gaffes exposing the truth behind the congressional investigations into the Benghazi attacks. Thank you, Republicans, for doing our work for us. Seriously, gentlemen, you’re doing great!

The same goes for the National Rifle Association. The nation’s most notorious death dealer since Phillip-Morris has a fairly extensive YouTube presence in which they routinely premiere unintentionally hilarious videos. You might’ve seen some of the NRA’s work in such videos as the one where a hipster tells us that bullets should be given away for free by the government. And who can forget the one in which the NRA calls for gun permits for blind people?

Yes, really.

Endless comedy.

This week, the NRA released a confounding new video in which one of their hosts, Colion Noir, performs a standard card trick to somehow illustrate why we should all have at least one firearm in our homes. In the video, Noir lays out a series of cards then scrambles them into a random deck. He repeats the arrangement of cards and they turn up in the exact same order as before they were scrambled. Tah-daaah! But here’s the crazy part.

Noir explains, “There are 318.9 million American citizens. The odds of you and me needing a gun to protect our lives is not that much better than Colion the Incredible putting these cards back in the exact order.”

Yes! Exactly! Thanks, Houdini, for proving our point. Ordinary Americans don’t need guns in their houses because the odds of needing a gun are ridiculously small. Full stop. Indeed, the NRA concedes that the odds are roughly one-in-80,658,175,170,943,878,571,660,636,856,403,766,975,289,505,440,883,277,824,000,000,000,000.

But the host goes on to say the statistics are irrelevant if you’re that one person. And for that one person, the odds of needing a firearm are 100 percent. This is sort of like Paul Rudd in Anchorman when he brags about his disgusting cologne: “60 percent of the time… it works every time.” Better yet, it’s like the end of Dumb & Dumber when Jim Carrey is told there’s a one-in-a-million chance he’ll end up with Lauren Holly, prompting Carrey to exclaim, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance! YES!”

Sure, I guess it makes sense that we need a permanent constitutional amendment to protect us in case of the one-in-80-unvigintillion chance we’ll need a gun to ward off a life-threatening intruder. Meanwhile, an amendment guaranteeing equal rights for women doesn’t exist at all. That seems fair, doesn’t it?

So, by all means, keep making videos, NRA. And we thank you.

Behold the magic:

Featured image via video screen grab.