Ben Carson Discusses Being Violently Stabby, And It’s Easily The Craziest Thing He’s Said So Far

It’s only a matter of time before Dr. Ben Carson announces that he’s actually a bionic ninja with superhuman strength and agility culled from Oscar Goldman and Jor’El of Krypton. Not too long ago, he talked about how he’d disarm an active shooter, even if it meant being shot. Then, roughly a week later, Carson said he’s the only presidential candidate who could personally thwart the Apocalypse.

On this week’s Meet the Press, Carson one-upped himself. In response to Chuck Todd’s questioning about Carson’s obvious lack of energy as a public speaker, Carson declared that he once attacked people using bricks, baseball bats and even attempted to stab a guy.

CHUCK TODD: Do you think that people mistake your soft-spokenness with a lack of energy?

DR. BEN CARSON: I think so. I have plenty of energy. But, you know, I am soft-spoken. I do have a tendency to be relaxed. I wasn’t always like that. There was a time when I was, you know, very volatile. But, you know, I changed.

CHUCK TODD: When was that?

DR. BEN CARSON: As a teenager. I would go after people with rocks, and bricks, and baseball bats, and hammers. And, of course, many people know the story when I was 14 and I tried to stab someone. And, you know, fortunately, you know, my life has been changed. And I’m a very different person now.

I’m sure the staff of the “Popeye’s organization” that was allegedly robbed while Carson dined there would’ve preferred the old Ben Carson who was clearly capable of destroying the burglar with everyday household items.

Either way, it fits perfectly within the Carson series of tall tales — each of which makes less sense than the last, given how Ben Carson is the least like an action movie hero of any presidential candidate ever, and that includes William Howard Taft who in spite of his obesity could still throw down.

What’s obvious here, though, is that Ben Carson is a serial fibber. Seriously, who comes up with a list of random weapons like that? But if it’s true, what the hell was going on in Carson’s life that he had to go around accosting people with hammers and bricks? It’s difficult to imagine soporific Ben Carson exerting the effort to cut his own meat much less use his own body as a human shield or to get all stabby. And if it’s true, is there something we need to know about Carson’s anger management issues? Again, he tried to stab a guy — possibly with a hammer. Even more disturbing is the fact that Iowa Republicans buy this crapola.

Featured image via video screen capture