Good News: Ben Carson Doesn’t Think Aliens Made Pyramids. Bad News: He Thinks God Did.

Ben Carson is quickly establishing himself as the Republican Party’s most embarrassing presidential frontrunner. His unscientific, a-historical musings have seen him surge in the conservative polls, but become a mockery to the rest of the world. And while his campaign has seen him say some truly idiotic things recently, he’s been saying crazy stuff for years – we’re only just finding them all.

In a 1998 commencement address at Andrews University, Carson apparently went way off script and began a puzzling, factually ludicrous screed about the “real” origins of the pyramids. Carson, a trained neurosurgeon, told the gathered students that while “many scientists” believed aliens created the pyramids (not true), he personally believed God helped the biblical patriarch known as Joseph to erect the huge monuments (not true) to serve not as tombs but as grain silos (definitely not true).

“My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain,” Carson said. “Now all the archaeologists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ graves. But, you know, it would have to be something awfully big if you stop and think about it. And I don’t think it’d just disappear over the course of time to store that much grain.”

It’s unclear how Joseph – he of the coat with many colors, a technicolor dream coat if you will – orchestrated the largest building projects in human history up until that time. Or why he would do it to store grain. It would have been particularly difficult considering he didn’t even come from Egypt, he showed up their as a refugee as an adult. Carson’s solution: God helped, aliens didn’t.

“And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons,” Carson said. “And various of scientists have said, ‘well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how-’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.”

To be clear, no serious scientist believes aliens helped build the pyramids. They were made through the combined labor of thousands of Egyptians using muscle and astonishing ingenuity.

Coupled with the numerous other Carsonisms that seem to spontaneously spew from the Republican candidate’s head unfiltered, the question needs to be asked: Is Ben Carson the craziest person to ever run for president? Can anyone, even in a crowded Republican field filled to the brim with the gleefully ignorant, possibly lay claim to holding more illogical, ludicrous theories about the world?

It’s hard to imagine a hypothetical President Carson handling the complex, difficult questions of the day when he seems to live exclusively in a fantasy world comprised of Biblical literalism and homeopathic cancer-curing miracle drugs.

Featured image via flickr