Conservative Columnist Tries To Declare War On Iran On Behalf Of America

Dear America, I would like to apologize on behalf of Britain for the awful political commentators that have migrated from our shores to yours. First Piers Morgan, and now Louise Mensch – who has just attempted to declare war on Iran on behalf of your country.

And no, this is not satire.

The people of Britain awoke, five to eight hours earlier than you this morning (depending on your timezone), to discover Louise Mensch had embarrassed both our nations by hate-tweeting the President of Iran. Mensch served as a Member of Parliament (MP) for our Conservative party (all aristocrats and private school types), before migrating to New York to serve the interests of media magnate Rupert Murdoch more directly.

Think of Ann Coulter having been put through the washing machine on too high a temperature, and you have a pretty accurate mental image of Mensch.

However, she seems to have gone a bit native and thinks she can declare war on your behalf, and put a Republican president in your White House.

But Mensch didn’t stop there. She has carried on hate-tweeting Iranian President Hassan Rouhani all day. Quite what she thinks this will achieve is anyone’s guess. It appears she believed the President of Iran would be stopped in his tracks by an over-stuffed western media hack carping at him on social media.

In the meantime, President Obama and John Kerry were busy executing the kind of grown up politics and diplomacy one has to in this scale of international incident. Unlike conservative lawmakers and pundits, they bear the burden of responsibility for actually getting those sailors home – not merely scoring political points from their capture and treatment.

In fact, they were able to secure release of the sailors, entirely unharmed, within hours. No embarrassing ultimatums, no extended hostage crisis, no saber-rattling – problem solved and time to move on. Meanwhile, the entire conservative media and political sphere remains in total meltdown, hyperventilating over an issue that has already been resolved expertly.

And that’s why America, and the world, cannot afford to put them in the White House in 2016.

Featured Image via Wikimedia/Flickr