The armed militants occupying federal property in Oregon still haven’t been arrested — but they are absolutely continuing to do damage. Unsatisfied with tearing down fences and building roads, disrupting the delicate ecosystem, Y’all Qaeda is on a hunt for something even more dangerous to humanity than a tyrannical bird sanctuary: cameras.
It all began when the Bundy yokels saw a strange box on a telephone pole.
The pretend militia chose perhaps the only person whose hands aren’t covered with some of the 55 gallons of lube a good samaritan sent them to climb a ladder and investigate the creepy science box.
The box itself, which has a sticker reading “SCADA CIRCUIT 10” on the outside, doesn’t try to hide what it is. “SCADA” stands for “supervisory control and data acquisition,” as a simple Google search can tell you, but these folks apparently lack the computer expertise needed to do more than visit World Net Daily’s website. There’s also a blinking red light, an antenna, and a “WiFi in use” sticker.” In other words, it is very clearly a not-so-hidden camera.
While most would expect cameras to cover a federal wildlife preserve, the Armed and Stupid were completely taken aback by this development. The “militiaman” up the pole struggled to open the housing, so he solved the problem in the traditional Bundy way — by hitting it with something.
“What’s that look like to you,” he yelled to his posse. “This is United States federal government surveillance. Welcome to America. I’m tellin’ you!”
“Who’s spying on us?” a woman yelled, as though the cameras were in place simply to keep an eye on them.
“Your federal government,” Utility Pole Guy replied. “Wake up people.”
Ammon Bundy, a product of generations and generations of inbreeding, shared his thoughts on the matter:
“This tells me that, uh, the government wants to be oppressive. They gotta watch us, control us, and use these things to do that with. This is not what it means to be free. A free people does not need to be watched. A free people needs to be left alone.”
“Wake up America,” Bundy said. “Let’s get our freedom back,” adding that the cameras are a “sophisticated piece of equipment” — though to be fair, a spoon is a sophisticated piece of equipment to Bundy.
The Bundy terrorists then dismantled the cameras because they’re “sick of being spied on” as they illegally occupy property that is nowhere close to theirs. Then, of course, they were off to hunt for more signs of government oppression.
The footage of the Bundy idiots discovering that cameras exist is downright hilarious. Of course, there’s always the possibility that the cameras are not government cameras at all. “There’s also the possibility that the cameras belong to the electric company, since they seem to be pointed directly at a substation located near the property,” Winning Democrats’ Charles Topher notes. “Wouldn’t that be a hoot.”
In any case, this monumental display of stupidity is hilarious to see:
Featured image via screengrab