While Ted Cruz would say that he is possessed by the spirit of his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, some would argue that he is instead possessed by a more insidious force. According to two men who attended one of the Texas Senator’s rallies, he’s plagued by demons — likely the sort that cause a person to say and do things so stupid that they have a chance of becoming the GOP nominee for President.
The Dallas Morning News reports that Cruz had just begun a speech when two men wielding mirrors and crosses appeared, one of the men shouting:
“Ted Cruz look in the mirror and let the evil spirit depart! He’s possessed by a demon!”
Cruz’s supporters began to boo as their allegedly demon-possessed leader joked that the men were sent by the Bernie Sanders campaign. As police forced the men to exit for simply expressing a religious opinion — something conservatives would normally oppose, even if it was crazy or in jest — the men managed to stay in character.
“He’s possessed by a demon!” the man yelled. “The demon has to leave. That’s why the body is so disgusting to look at!”
This, of course, is something with which Cruz’s daughter seems to agree, as she was unwilling to accept her father’s forced affection at another recent campaign event in which he tried to use her as a political prop. Further evidence that Cruz is possessed can, of course, be found in the words of the Senator’s former college roommate, who has stated that Ted leaves behind a disgusting greasy film on anything he touches. Even science struggles to explain what, exactly, is so unsettling about Cruz but one neurologist explained that he is “at a loss” to explain why Cruz’s face leaves him “cold.”
While it’s unlikely Cruz is actually possessed by a demon, it is easy to see why one might assume this is the case. Yhe other man urged the Senator to look at himself in the mirror so “the evil can confront itself.”
“Evil body! Evil spirit. Look yourself in the mirror!” the man said.
As they exited the building, one of the unnamed men explained — still impressively in character — that:
“We just had to get rid of the evil spirit. I hope it works,” one man remarked, motioning that he was sick to his stomach. “He’s very hard to be in the same room with. We had to exorcise some sort of disgusting evil spirit. There’s a reason that the body is so haggard and disgusting, and the face, and it’s all so weathered and gross and hard to look at.
And it’s because he’s possessed by a demon. Being in the room with evil so close, it’s just hard to even comprehend. The evil is so deep rooted and maybe if it had to confront itself.”
Watch the “exorcism” below:
The men explain their actions here:
Featured image via screengrab/Dallas Morning News