As soon as news broke of notorious hatemonger Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death, some liberals joked that conservatives are so desperate to hate Obama that they would accuse the president of murder. The idea seemed so nonsensical that it could never happen. Sure, it was entirely expected that Republicans would immediately vow to block any Obama nominees no matter who they are. Republicans have been working to stand in between Obama and success since before he was elected the first time. But to accuse him of murdering Scalia?
Scalia, a man who opposed anything that advanced human rights at every turn, was a 79-year-old obese gentleman who smoked (factors that greatly contribute to one’s risk of death), but lived a full life — one he chose to waste opposing LGBT rights, a woman’s right to choose whether or not to have an abortion, racial equality, and other endeavors rational, thinking, decent human beings would consider reasonable.
That President Obama will be nominating a replacement is something that frightens conservatives — apparently to the point that the gerbils that operate their brains have all simultaneously died. All across right-wing social media, you can find a curious assertion repeated: that bastard Obama gone done and killed Scalia. On Twitter, several hashtags have formed to push the moronic belief that the President’s secret Muslim enforcers gave Scalia a heart attack — and there is such an outpouring of stupid, Sarah Palin will likely announce plans to speak about foreign policy for 30 minutes straight in order to regain her title as the Dumbest F*cking Human Being Alive:
Though Scalia’s true murderer is heart disease, the Right is almost desperate to believe that the president had Scalia killed. One gentleman calling himself “NatureHacker” manages to spin a particularly crazy theory that:
“This is a white house president government coverup. The fbi and cia with barack are probably involved. mercury nitrate may have been the poison of choice at dinner or the sulfate with lead, cadmium, radium, plutonium, uranium, or organophosphate. Roundup is an organophosphate that could have been used by leonard nimoy. This justice was killed and found dead. He died of a premeditated murder. Another term for this is that he was assasinated for his spot in the supreme court to be appointed by a liberal.”
“NatureHacker” explains that, after a night of partying and gorging on food, Scalia “wakes up dead.”
“What a coincidence,” Mr. Genius says sarcastically, explaining that Scalia was poisoned “to get him to die for Obama’s agenda.”
Unfortunately, the real enemy here is heart disease.
Watch the insane rant below, and remember to VOTE BLUE in November. Not only does the next president appoint at least two Supreme Court Justices, but if conservatives have their way, he or she will appoint a third as well.
Featured image via screengrab