BUSTED: Marco Rubio And His Family Lied About Escaping Castro In the 50s — It Never Happened

Marco Rubio’s staff had to exit the building they were working in when the senator began smoking from the trouser region. Alarms and sprinklers were set off, leading to an investigation the fire chief was able to dismiss as self-inflicted “liar, liar pants on fire.”

The incident happened when Rubio, who tells a wonderful story about how his parents came to the United States to escape the Castro regime, meaning they would have come in 1959. Unfortunately, records have proven, and Rubio has himself admitted, that the actual date his parents migrated to Miami was 1956, when Castro was still living and plotting from Mexico.

So why the discrepancy? Rubio says he was passing along the family’s “oral history.” Yes, oral history. That’s when you don’t like your family’s actual history so you make something up. My family, for example, landed in New Hampshire, but since nobody cares about anything in the 1620s but Plymouth, I am now a direct descendent of the Mayflower according to oral history. That was easy.

Rubio’s ridiculous answer fits in with the motif of the Republican party of derp. If something doesn’t make sense, ignore it until it just goes away. Rubio comes along with his “I appeal to Latinos” mentality, some of which is a direct result of the lies he told. How much will those same Latinos respect his “plight” when they learn Rubio’s parents came here voluntarily, not on a raft as refugees escaping life in prison or worse. They entered the country and asked to start working and were shown a path to citizenship.

There is, of course, nothing wrong with that story. It’s a similar story to almost every family if you go back to their first generation. For some reason, Marco Rubio and his family needed to add things that never happened to their lives for effect.


 

Featured image from Gage Skidmore