Occasional human being, and Republican presidential candidate, Michele Bachmann perpetually touts the sorely misguided notion that all federal monies are allotted to freeloading bums who lack the Protestant work ethic–and light pigmentation–that comes with it. Yet, much like with everything with today’s pretend Republican Senators or Congresspeople, it ultimately boils down to “do as I poorly say, not as I do.” Much like her idiot sister from another mother in Alaska, Bat Sh*t Bachmann is a leading recipient of dirty taxpayer money. Most recently, the Washington Post uncovered a $417,000 federally-subsidized loan from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to help purchase a luxury house even as she was shrieking for the Mortgage giants to be dismantled. Of course Bachmann has been a consistently fierce critic of mortgage lending programs and has gone so far as to suggest abolishing the government sponsored mortgage enterprises (GSEs) Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. But that certainly didn’t stop the female overlord of Kookistan from taking out the maximum possible loan from those programs to finance her family’s move to a lavish 5,200-square-foot home on a golf course. After all, one simply cannot read the bible without encountering all the passages about Jesus being an avid golfer. Naturally, Bachmann gave an explanation worthy of late-nite fodder (sorry Obama stimulus jokes) during an appearance this afternoon at the National Press Club.
MODERATOR: I got a lot of questions from people asking is it fair for you to call for dismantling federal programs you ultimately have been a beneficiary of? So in terms of guaranteeing home mortgages, do you think the federal government has a role in that…? BACHMANN: Now unlike all of you, who I’m sure pay cash for your homes, there are people out there like myself who actually have to go to a bank and get a mortgage. And this is the problem. It’s almost impossible to buy a home in this country today without the federal government being involved. Whether it is with the FHA, whether it’s with Fannie, whether it’s with Freddie, it’s almost impossible to buy a home…What’s important is that we do dismantle a number of these federal programs that everyone agrees are clearly out of control.
Very indeed so, Bachmann. All us Americans (especially those greedy Kindergarten teachers) do is use cash to purchase gold plated homes and spend our remaining days burning hundred-dollar bills in the roaring fireplace. Now if you’re not a Teabagger, thus having more than two brain cells, who can forget how Bachmann received thousands of dollars in farm subsidies and $137,000 in Medicaid paymentsto deeply closeted Marcus Bachmann’s gay therapy clinic? And now the home loan?! One might even go so far as to say that Bachmann belongs to the church of Trinity Hypocrisy. The insane clown posse that makes up today’s Republican Party most certainly opposes large government, but only when it comes to groups they simply don’t like, such as blacks, gays, women, working class, etc. Edited By: Alexis Atherton