Chill Out, Liberals! The Republicans Took The Senate And That’s TERRIBLE…For Them

What? Did you think this would be good news for Republicans? Not a chance!

You see, for the last 6 years, the only thing Republicans have had to do is say “No!” to anything and everything President Obama and the Democrats put forth. That’s easy when your base hates the president so much they would happily light themselves on fire if he said “Third degree burns are bad for you.”

This rage keeps the right wing voting for Republicans as long as Republicans tell them what they want to hear: Obama is a Kenyan Muslim socialist Commie Nazi that stole the elections, government is the problem and we’re here to stop Big Gub’mint blablabla…

But now Republicans have to do something they no longer know how to do: Lead.

Shooting spitballs from the back of the class at the smart kids doesn’t require much effort. Standing at the front of the class and solving problems requires both brains and discipline and the GOP is sorely lacking in both.

This is the same Republican Party that forced a government shutdown because the Tea Party caucus blocked their own debt ceiling bill because it wasn’t extreme enough.

This is the same Republican Party that forced Speaker of the House John Boehner to pull his own immigration bill because the Tea Party caucus decided it wasn’t extreme enough.

This is the same Republican Party that has been threatening to impeach President Obama for years. Heck, they came up with a ridiculous lawsuit against the president that no law firm will take because judges keep laughing it out of court.

The Republican Party is controlled by crazed extremists and they will use their new found power to prove just how crazy they are. They can’t help themselves.

Here’s the next two years:

  • Now that they have the Senate, conservatives will demand that the GOP repeal/defund Obamacare but the ACA is too deeply entrenched now. Attacking people’s healthcare is a sure path to electoral suicide but the base won’t care because they hate Obama with a blind rage. If Republicans don’t try, the base will turn on them and here come the primaries from the far right.
  • Impeachment!!!! The base and Fox News want impeachment proceedings so badly they can taste it. The base is dumb enough to think it will work, Fox simply wants the massive ratings the doomed-to-fail impeachment hearings will bring. Republicans in the Senate still remember how much damage their last attempt to impeach a Democratic president did and won’t want to even try. And then here come the primaries from the far right again.
  • The House will pass insane bills and the Senate will try to smooth out the extremism to attract even a handful of Democrats. The House GOP will froth at the mouth and here come those primary challenges.
  • Ted Cruz will be running for president and will take every opportunity to undermine Mitch McConnell as Senate Majority Leader. Cruz already has a track record of sabotaging the GOP for his own personal gain. Expect that to get worse.
  • Several other Republicans will be running for president as well and they will be loudly demagoging to the farthest of the far right. Expect normal humans to be nauseated.
  • Mitch McConnell has already said he will be trying to blackmail President Obama at every opportunity with threatened shutdowns. How do you think that’s going to go over with the public?

Sure, the press will mindlessly repeat Republican claims that Obama is responsible for the continued gridlock but the thing about being the one writing the bills to put in front of the president is that your name actually has to be on it. Now Democrats can sit back and point out the GOP’s extremism and even the “liberal” media will have a hard time blaming Democrats for it.

So, really, not much will change in terms of policy making. Republicans will face President Obama’s veto and they are FAR from the votes necessary to override it. Harry Reid has ZERO incentive to work with Mitch McConnell after his scumbag behavior for the last 6 years and despite what the Fat Smug Bastard says, I don’t see Obama rolling over to accommodate Republicans who have been savagely attacking him since the before he was even elected.

And finally, there’s 2016. Remember that awesome Republican wave in 2010? Well that wave crashed in two years. Republicans will have about 24 seats up for and the Democrats will only have about 10. And it’s a presidential election where the turnout is always higher. On top of that, Hillary Clinton will most likely be running and that will bring out an even higher turnout.

Remember, the higher the turnout, the worse Republicans do. This is the sole motivating factor behind their myriad voter suppression schemes.

Even worse for Republicans, they won’t have a black guy on the ballot to run against that will take the wind out of their sails. It’s easy to get the right-wing racist vote out. Voting against a black man is like masturbation for the conservative base. Voting against a woman isn’t quite as exciting and the GOP’s upcoming misogynistic attacks on Clinton will enrage women voters.

Republicans will enjoy the Senate for two years and then lose it, big time. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about the House until the next Census in 2020. Perhaps a few more Republican governors will be outed and we can redraw the districts to be less completely gerrymandered, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

If you’re still freaking out over the Republicans taking the Senate here’s a joke to soothe your nerves:

Knock Knock!

Who’s there?

Republicans!

Republicans who?

That’s the question kids will be asking in 20 years when the majority of Republican voters die of old age and the party collapses!