‘Affluenza Teen’ Transferred To Adult Court, Faces 10 Years In Prison

Looks like money can’t protect you forever if you insist on being a lifelong asshole:

A Texas judge on Friday ordered the case of Ethan Couch to be transferred to an adult court, meaning the teenager faces jail time for a 2013 drunken-driving crash that killed four people.

The decision by the juvenile court in Fort Worth means that Mr. Couch will spend up to 120 days in jail, then finish his 10-year probation.

So he’s only getting a maximum 4 month slap on the wrist for violating his probation and fleeing the country. We normal people would be screwed if we tried that, but money still talks apparently. That’s the bad news.

Here’s the good news:

Samantha K. Jordan, a spokeswoman for the Tarrant County district attorney’s office, said a hearing, which is scheduled for April, would set the conditions of Mr. Couch’s probation. If he violated his probation, she said, he could get up to 10 years in prison.

“It means he will actually be under supervision until 2024,” Ms. Jordan said. “The penalties are tougher, but the way they maintain the supervision is stricter as well.”

Considering Couch is such a spoiled shit that his parents threw him a going away party after he was busted drinking when he was forbidden from doing so, there is almost no chance that he will be able to stick to his new probation. He’ll get drunk again or skip a meeting with his probation officer or do something similarly stupid with the expectation of mummy and daddy taking care of it. But now that he’s in the Big Boy justice system, it’s very unlikely that the coddling will continue. One more slip up and justice will finally be served on Patient Zero of affluenza.

None of this excuses the fact that he got away with the murder of 4 people solely because he was rich, but at least we can trust that his continued irresponsibility will see justice served. Eventually.


Featured image via Tarrant County Sheriff’s Department