The 7 Types Of Republican Idiots

I’m going to start with the most intelligent of the Republican idiots, then work my way down the list getting progressively more stupid.


The Educated Republicans:
These are the rarest of all Republicans. Occasionally you will run into one in public, or in a public-forum online. These Republicans are the smartest of the Republican idiots. They have learned everything there is to know about their position, from a Republican perspective. They’ve educated themselves on all the reasons why their position is correct.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:

Anyone with the internet and 5 minutes can find something that thoroughly discredits their version of the “facts.” Even when confronted with contradictory facts they continue to fall back on their original arguments, try to change the subject to something they are more comfortable talking about, or start expressing opinions with no factual merit.

What to Remember when debating them:

Keep them on-topic. Don’t let them ignore your counter-points and then change the subject on you. They’re masters of that, but if you can keep them on topic eventually they will just start expressing opinions to which you can say “do you have any facts to back that up?”


Fox News and Conservative Talk Radio Republicans:
These are one of the angriest groups of Republicans. They watch Fox News or listen to Conservative Talk Radio and they think it makes them an expert on politics. The only knowledge they have of politics is parroted talking points without any facts to back them up. When you defeat them in debate they will resort to calling you names like “Liberal,” “commie,” “socialist” or “baby-killer” etc. They think all liberals are socialists that want to take their money and give it to people who don’t deserve it.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:
They have no idea what they are talking about. Usually they’re just repeating things they have heard from Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. They think that liberals want to take away their freedoms and they clearly don’t know what the word “liberal” means, or what liberals have done for our country and freedom. They think President Obama is comparable to Hitler for passing health-care reform. They accuse you of watching MSNBC if you don’t agree with them. They call you a sheep but expect you to blindly believe everything they tell you, without question.

What to Remember when debating them:
Keep demanding facts from them to back up their assertions until they break down and call you any of the aforementioned names. Ask them to name specific freedoms that liberals have taken away from them. They have a tendency to become violent so watch their hands if you are debating them face to face.


Christian Republicans:
These Republicans are hypocrites. They do everything in the name of Christ, while simultaneously acting as un-Christlike as humanly possible. They support the right to carry assault weapons, are pro-war, and completely ignore the fact that the Bible depicts Christ as a Liberal who was opposed to capitalism and violence. They sincerely believe that this is God’s country and that God loves us more than anyone else in the world. They think that anyone that is not 100% pro-Israel is anti-semitic. They hate everyone that doesn’t agree with them and think the Bible tells them to, and they hate Gay people because they think they are sinners.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:

They do terrible things in the name of their Lord. They think that anyone who doesn’t agree with them is damned to hell or hates America. They believe that we are a Christian Nation even though the Founding Fathers made sure that they did not brand this country as a Christian Nation. The Founding Fathers wanted a country of religious freedom, free from religious persecution, but these Republicans will never admit that.

What to Remember when debating them:

There’s a list of all the quotes that prove our Founding Fathers wanted a country of religious freedom. The link is HERE. Another thing to remember is that the Christian Right is neither. Start asking them questions like “how would Jesus feel about war,” “how would Jesus feel about assault rifles,” or “do you REALLY think that America is God’s favorite country, in the ENTIRE universe?” And of course these questions should yield a response that thoroughly proves that they are hypocrites, and continuing to argue with them would be a waste of time.


Tea Party Republicans:
These Republicans are a dumbed-down combination of the previous 2 groups of Republicans. They think Sarah Palin is intelligent and it’s the media filter’s fault that she looks so stupid. They think Reagan was fiscally Conservative even though he tripled the deficit. They watch Fox News religiously, and think Glenn Beck is credible. They don’t understand why people think they’re racist while they’re standing next to people holding racist signs. They protest higher taxes even though taxes have gone down for 95% of working families.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:
They parrot Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin talking points. When you discredit one thing they say they immediately move on to the next subject. Anyone that doesn’t agree with them is a socialist, even though they can’t give you the actual definition of socialism. Many of them are on Medicare while protesting “socialism.” They have never met a socialist, so they have no idea what socialists believe. They think liberals are socialists and socialists are Nazis.

What to Remember when debating them:

They have no idea what they’re talking about. Ask them to prove what they are saying. If you ask them a question and they respond with a question refuse to answer their question until they answer yours. Don’t back down. Remind them that taxes have actually been lowered for 95% of working families. If debating them in public be careful because they are known to carry guns in places they don’t need them, like public parks and bars and churches.


Birther Republicans:
The birthers think that Obama was born in Kenya. No matter how much evidence you present them with that is contradictory to that, they will continue to insist that he is not the legitimate President. They are sore-losers because McCain lost the election, and they will never support Obama, even if he paid off the entire National Debt.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:

They think Obama was born in Kenya. They think that Orly Taitz, who grew up in a communist country, is credible, and that Obama is a socialist. They think that Obama’s birth announcements in Hawaiian newspapers were propagated over 40 years in advance of his election, just so that he could be elected someday.

What to Remember when debating them:

Don’t waste your time. You could wave Obama’s actual birth certificate in their face and they would still say it’s a fake. They are sore-losers and they will never be happy as long as Obama is President. Make jokes asking to see their birth certificates, or Sarah Palin’s birth certificate. This is the best way to get them to go away.


Racist Republicans:
[DISCLAIMER: I am putting this one almost last for a reason. I do NOT think that all Republicans are racists. I have Republican family members who are not racist. This section is only about the small percentage of Republicans that are ACTUALLY racist, because they do exist. I’m not “playing the race card” or “race-baiting,” I’m just describing a small group of racists who also affiliate themselves with the Republican Party]

Racist Republicans hate Obama because he’s black. They think that all Muslims are terrorists. They think Obama is a terrorist Muslim. The think anyone with a name like Obama’s is a terrorist.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:

They’re racist, but they think Obama is a racist. They can’t understand why people call them racists when they post racist pictures or racist comments and then claim not to be racist. Whenever they possibly can they will call you a racist, to hide the fact that they are actually racists.

What to Remember when debating them:

They’re racists. Racists are uneducated bigots. You would have a much easier time convincing an apple tree to start growing oranges.


Extremely Idiotic Republicans:
These Republicans are Republicans because they think it’s cool. They have a Republican in one of the other groups listed, so they think they know what they’re talking about. They have terrible spelling and grammar but they expect you to believe whatever they say because they are saying it to you.

The reason why this type of Republican is an idiot:

It’s hard to tell if they ever made it past the 4th grade. Most of their posts are illegible. They don’t know anything about their position other than what they have heard their friends say. They think that Republicans are fiscally conservative because they say that they are, and call anyone that doesn’t agree with them sheep. They ignore all historical information that is contradictory to what they say. They are 100% blind to facts.

What to Remember when debating them:

No amount of facts or logic will ever convince them that their buddies are wrong. You could be a college professor and they will still think that your opinion isn’t credible. Instead of trying to argue with them try explaining Algebra to your dog. I’m sure it will be much more productive.


I hope that this has been an informative resource for you. I hope you will remember some of the things I have said the next time you are engaged in a debate with a Republican idiot.

Feel free to tell me I’m wrong;