45 Quotes To Use When Describing Conservatives And Republicans To Your Friends

Author: August 3, 2013 8:10 pm
President Barack Obama Laughing.

We all know what conservatives are like. Unfortunately, they don’t know it themselves. Here’s our collection of the 45 best quotes about Republicans. Photo from Daily Kos.

We all know what conservatives/Republicans are like. It’s just unfortunate that they don’t know it themselves. And if they do, that’s just sad. Many things have been said about conservatives, Republicans, and conservatism. Most of it, of course, is bad but true. Humorists, politicians, writers, journalists, comedians, and even US Presidents have left us with many quotes that describe conservatives and Republicans. Here’s our updated collection with the 45 best quotes about Republicans. If you’re a liberal, these are well worth book marking. If you’re a conservative, the truth hurts, doesn’t it?

1. “Today’s so-called ‘conservatives’ don’t even know what the word means. They think I’ve turned liberal because I believe a woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right. It’s not a conservative issue at all.”
~Barry Goldwater

2. “I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all.”
~Alexis de Tocqueville

3. “Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.”
~Mark Twain

4. “Conservatism discards Prescription, shrinks from Principle, disavows Progress; having rejected all respect for antiquity, it offers no redress for the present, and makes no preparation for the future.”
~Benjamin Disraeli

5. “Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.”
~George Carlin

6. “Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home–but not for housing. They are strong for labor–but they are stronger for restricting labor’s rights. They favor minimum wage–the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all–but they won’t spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine–for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing–but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing–so long as it doesn’t spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it.”
~Harry S. Truman

7. “Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future.”
~Jimmy Carter

8. “Latins for Republicans – it’s like roaches for Raid.”
~John Leguizamo

9. “A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

10. “A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits.”
~Woodrow Wilson

11. “I like that about the Republicans; the evidence does not faze them, they are not bothered at all by the facts.”
~Bill Clinton

12. “A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.”
~Woodrow Wilson

13. “A Conservative Government is an organized hypocrisy.”
~Benjamin Disraeli

14. “A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling ‘Stop!’.”
~William F. Buckley, Jr.

15. “Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.”
~John Stuart Mill

16. “Even as someone who’s labeled a conservative – I’m a Republican, I’m black, I’m heading up this organization in the Reagan administration – I can say that conservatives don’t exactly break their necks to tell blacks that they’re welcome.”
~Clarence Thomas

17. “In the United States I have always believed that there was a big difference between Conservative and stupid. Boy is it getting harder to prove that one by the minute.”
~Rick Mercer

18. “The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
~John Kenneth Galbraith

19. “When a nation’s young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.”
~Henry Ward Beecher

20. “I wonder how many times you have to be hit on the head before you find out who’s hitting you? It’s about time that the people of America realized what the Republicans have been doing to them.”
~Harry Truman

21. “In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
~H. L. Mencken

22. “A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they’re dead.”
~Leo Rosten

23. “Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.”
~George Will

24. “The Republicans are looking after the financial interests of the wealthiest individuals in this country.”
~Edward Kennedy

25. “Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.”
~William E. Gladstone

26. “Republicans don’t like people who talk about depressions. You can hardly blame them for that. You remember the old saying: Don’t talk about rope in the house where somebody has been hanged.”
~Harry Truman

27. “You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat.”
~Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

28. “Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.”
~Walter J. Lippmann

29. “Herbert Hoover once ran on the slogan, “Two cars in every garage”. Apparently, the Republican candidate this year is running on the slogan, “Two families in every garage”.”
~Harry Truman

30. “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself.”
~Harry Truman

31. “Democrats legislate; Republicans investigate.”
~Lyndon Johnson

32. “A gathering of Democrats is more sweaty, disorderly, offhand, and rowdy than a gathering of Republicans; it is also likely to be more cheerful, imaginative, tolerant of dissent, and skillful at the game of give-and-take. A gathering of Republicans is more respectable, sober, purposeful, and businesslike than a gathering of Democrats; it is also likely to be more self-righteous, pompous, cut-and-dried, and just plain boring.”
~Clinton Rossiter

33. “The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then get elected and prove it.”
~P.J. O’Rourke

34. “Republicans and nerds have so much in common — they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.”
~Stephen Colbert

35. “Democrats work to help people who need help. That other party, they work for people who don’t need help. That’s all there is to it.”
~Harry S. Truman

36. “The Republicans believe in the minimum wage — the more the minimum, the better.”
~Harry Truman

37. “They (Republicans) blame the low income women for ruining the country because they are staying home with their children and not going out to work. They (Republicans) blame the middle income women for ruining the country because they go out to work and do not stay home to take care of their children.”
~Ann Richards

38. “The Republicans are looking after the financial interests of the wealthiest individuals in this country.”
~Edward Kennedy

39. “I wonder if it’s possible to be a Republican and a Christian at the same time.”
~Hillary Clinton

40. “Mr. Nixon has, in the last seven days, called me an economic ignoramus, a Pied Piper, and all the rest. I’ve just confined myself to calling him a Republican. But he says that is getting low.”
~John F. Kennedy

41. “Let me warn you and let me warn the Nation against the smooth evasion which says, “Of course we believe all these things; we believe in social security; we believe in work for the unemployed; we believe in saving homes. Cross our hearts and hope to die, we believe in all these things; but we do not like the way the present Administration is doing them. Just turn them over to us. We will do all of them- we will do more of them we will do them better; and, most important of all, the doing of them will not cost anybody anything.”

But, my friends, these evaders are banking too heavily on the shortness of our memories. No one will forget that they had their golden opportunity—twelve long years of it.

Remember, too, that the first essential of doing a job well is to want to see the job done. Make no mistake about this: the Republican leadership today is not against the way we have done the job. The Republican leadership is against the job’s being done.”
~Franklin Roosevelt

42. “It’s been the same story ever since I can remember, ever since Wilson – the Republicans don’t do a thing for the little man.”
~John Updike

43. “Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn’t work.”
~Jon Stewart

44. “Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!…I’m sorry, but they’re just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It’s just, — and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they’re really good at, is gay sex. Really.”
~Bill Maher

45. “It is Liberalism, whether people like it or not, that has animated all the years of my life. What on Earth did conservatism ever accomplish for our country?”
~Charles Kuralt

The typical conservative is one who opposes all progress. They are paranoid, enjoy using fear to control others, and in most cases have no clue what they are talking about. They hate facts, hate government, and do not believe in contributing to society. Conservatives cling to the failed policies and traditions of the past and are willing to use the threat of violence at times to return to them. Many of these quotes were meant to be funny, but it turns out the humorous quotes were quite accurate. The rest of the quotes were just bluntly truthful. In the spirit of this list, however, I’d like to add a quote of my own that describes today’s conservatives to a tee.

Conservatives remind me of Yosemite Sam, Wile E. Coyote, and Elmer Fudd. They bring the guns, the stupidity, and of course, the failure.

Sorry conservatives, it had to be said.

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1 Comment

  • Agreed, it had to be said.

    Evolution, is driven by the NOT-Conservatives. Every animal or plant that tried something new or different, and got a good result- survived. One fish somewhere in the mists of time decided to get out of the crowded seas and check out the land….

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