This Rambling, Incoherent Mess Of A Video Is What Conservatives Are Paying Sarah Palin To Watch

Whether you think Sarah Palin is Ronald Reagan incarnate or the worst half-term Governor in Alaska’s history, I think we can all agree that her latest video is an absolute mess.

When news first broke that Palin would begin an online subscription service devoted to “real America,” many of us figured it would be pretty hilarious and also pretty bad, but it was inconceivable that the quality would be this shoddy on only its first week.

For whatever reason, in one of her first videos Palin decided to swing for the fences and take on liberal lightning rod Sen. Elizabeth Warren. It’s a gutsy choice. After all, Warren is known as a sharp mind, great orator and shrewd Democratic politician. By picking a fight with Warren, Palin invites a comparison that – even by generous accounts – isn’t going to be flattering. Despite that challenge, and presumably against the wishes of every single one of her handlers, Palin tilted at that windmill.

Palin seems incensed that Warren would be advocating for a minimum wage increase. After showing a clip where Warren is seen giving an impassioned speech about standing with fast food workers as they strike for better wages, Palin gives her take (spoilers, it’s absolutely bonkers):

“We believe”? Wait, I thought fast food joints, hurh. Don’t you guys think that they’re like of the Devil or somethin’ I was. Liberals, you want to send those evil employees who would dare work at a fast food joint then ya just don’t believe in, thought you wanted to, I dunno, send them to Purgatory or somethin’ so they all go VEGAN and, uh, wages and picket lines I dunno they’re not often discussed in Purgatory, are they? I dunno why are you even worried about fast food wages because dha.”

(Major hat tip to The Daily Banter for transcribing that torturous word salad. You are a braver bunch than I.)

What the hell is Sarah Palin talking about? Watching the video is like seeing someone pick random words out of a hat from a pool drawn exclusively from the comment section of Fox News article. She tries to say liberals hate fast food, leaps to “liberals hate fast food workers” and finally swings into something, something “VEGANS!” Never once does she make a clear, concise point about what exactly her objection is with Warren or her support for higher wages. She concludes that minimum wage jobs aren’t life time gigs, “they’re stepping stones.” How are they stepping stones? How does that work against a raise hike? Sarah Palin is good at sneering and throwing the word “vegan” around, but her opinions are devoid of actual content.

I can’t help but feel Palin is improvising because she refuses to use a teleprompter. After spending years trolling Barack Obama because he deigned to use one for some of his speeches, perhaps she doesn’t want to appear hypocritical by using one here. The effect is profoundly stupid. She oscillates wildly between topics, reaching for a point, any point, and yet never finds one.

Politics aside, it’s criminal that Palin is getting rich off this train wreck. It’s almost unfathomable to think that people threw down $10 a month for this and feel that it was worth it. The production says it all. Palin is huckster; she’s milking her conservative darling status for every penny she can before the well dries up.